is she a baby? is she a toddler?....she's a KID!

Do you ever sit there on the floor watching your kids play, you take a deep breath and suddenly you notice...the new baby smell is GONE!....now the drool, dirty diapers, colossal amount of laundry..etc...yeah, now that's still here.......but the new baby thing....you know the feeling! the tiny little person, with tiny parts, tiny coos, tiny cries...tiny.....tiny is GONE! It's been replaced by big noise and big cry and running and talking (and talking back)...not a bad thing, I don't DISLIKE my kids now...I just miss...the baby......a lot.
I have devoted my life to my kids....My thoughts, my actions, my every day "doings"...all for , about...my kids. One might think, this kind of life is not a "full" life, that you should still have something of your own, like hobbies, carrier..etc.. To each his own, I say!...this motherhood thing is my hobby, carrier, life's work!...Motherhood is a 7 course meal for me, desert and cocktails included!..I don't feel like I'm cheating myself...I want to do this right and so putting my 100%, my whole self is in my opinion,( for me)...the only way!..I guess if you still need more...well you can always.....blog(insert smiley face here)
Tori is 14 months old....a walking, running, climbing, talking, screaming....exploring machine! she's fun and funny, full of life and love! Great! impressive! wonderful! fascinating! .....delightful!!!!......yet I'm a little sad, and I miss the baby...a lot..
Not quite sure why it is so hard this time around...never has been easy but this time....difficult..Maybe because this(most likely) is our last baby...aww, that thought did not come without pain..It is almost hard to comprehend that this chapter of our family life is over....ouch (there is that pain again). Big job ahead!...instead of having kids...we're now going to be raising them!...Monumental, grand, mighty job!...wish us LUCK...we'll need it...
I am up for the challenge, and when they are all "raised" and out in the world on their own journey we will have the memories of who they were and pride of who they've become....I love it now and I will love it later.....just miss the baby.....a lot

the old raggedy bear

I am the old raggedy bear...sure I bring comfort when they're scared, hurt, need a shot...but just not as exciting as the new Christmas toy(daddy)....



Yes, I am a little envious! The minute my husband walks in the house they run and trip over things to get to him!....why do they trip over things? maybe I need to get rid of the clutter...well that's not the point! the point is he is their superhero, you know the one with the shiny belt and a cape...the "fun" parent!...I work "undercover". I wipe noses, hug and kiss when they get a "boo-boo"(actually Sadie calls me "mommy boo-boo gone":)...feed them, bathe them, dress them, teach them...He comes home and it's forts, jumping, ball throwing(in the house...ugh..)


Take this morning for example, Sadie was not listening and started screaming about something...now the rule is(my rule not daddy's of course!)..you yell=things get taken away=simple. So she screamed and I took her lady bug pillow pet away(current fave)...she ran up to me and actually HIT my hand!...now we do not hit, spank...non of the physical discipline..so it's not like she models after us. I immediately put her in time out and took her fave bear away too, got in her face and told her firmly"we DO NOT hit anyone EVER!" I went in the kitchen (to give myself a time out, really mad right now and like I said I don't believe in spanking and I'm trying to keep it that way..) DADDY...on his imaginary white horse as a proper knight in shining armor would, goes to"rescue" her, starts playing with her IN THE TIME OUT!....I know ...you all want to yell out WTF!!as you should..just make sure the kids are not in the room...


After having 2 children with him I have learned that he does not and will not discipline. Doesn't know how aka doesn't want to, wants to just have NICE time with his kids as opposed to me who is just tickled by the yelling, negotiating , punishing ...etc...WHAT?!?!...anywho.....So with that knowledge I will discipline my children and let HIM be the fun parent...fine...not fair..but FINE!..I have stopped asking him to do that now but PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD....don't UNDO what I am trying to accomplish!...tired, pissed, I feel i have a pretty decent vocabulary and I don't think I'm a very vulgar person...but really.....WTF!!!!

And why does he feel the need to "rescue" her?!...where am I sending her?!...Guantanamo Bay?!?!...it's a rug by the front door and she needs to sit there for few min!!...I think she'll be ok!

Changes need to be made....

I KNOW this can't be just my issue...so let's hear it moms, and maybe especially moms of daughters...lets have these daddy's grow some serious balls( that's right, I said it!..it's been that kind of a day)...and stand up to those daughters!!....he certainly does not fold that fast when I try to have my way.......

oh daddy's...got to love'em.....and I do...truly love him with all my being...NEVER loved anyone like this....but there is days like this when I just want to....maybe....shake him a smidgen....